I was, like, super-nervous about kissing Eric that first time, after we got back from the Rundgren concert. I was planning it all night. I don’t think a person can stop being nervous, but one doesn’t have to let that nervousness determine what she does.
What helped me is that I decided to be okay with the outcome of my actions—no matter what they were. If Eric had said, “Ew, you’re gross. Get away from me!” after I’d kissed him, then at least I’d have learned he wasn’t attracted to me.
The most important thing is that I had to try. I had to give myself a chance to find out if a romance with Eric could work. I didn’t want to look back and my life and regret not taking that risk. But I started small. I started with a sustained peck on his lips.
You can start smaller than that, like talking to the guy you like about something neutral or have in common. Eric and I both like the Packers and the the same music, and it was always easy to begin a conversation there and let it branch out into deeper things.
I know the prospect of rejection is, like, really scary—and actually being rejected hurts like hell (been there, done that). But if this guy isn’t into you, that means he wasn’t meant for you. It also means the person who is meant for you is still out there, and you’ll be loads happier with him than you would’ve been with that other guy.